hey chicago...

hey chicago,

so, i just wanted to touch base...  because this time tomorrow, i'll be boarding a plane to cali.

i'm kinda amazed at how emotional i am at this move...  back in '95, when i left for sf, i couldn't leave fast enough...  there was just one too many deaths, unhappy endings, and personal failures...  i realize now how angry and desperate i was when i left that time... 

i became whole again and healed during my time away but i'm thankful that since moving back in '01, we've mended the bridge that i burned.  thank you for forgiving and forgetting and welcoming me home.

i shouldn't be surprised since you welcomed me into the world. you were there for my first tooth, my first step, my first potty parade...

you played with me under the streetlights in the illegal water spray of a fire hydrant while harry announced a cubs game on wgn (go sox!)....  we rollerskated at rainbo ate bowls of ice cream at zephyrs...  we shoplifted funyuns...  we watched movies at the milford....  we performed my solo at the mwhs talent show... we danced at medusas and ate cheese fries at muskies...  and graduated to rainbo club and marie's rip tide....  we shopped with michael jackson and siouxsie and the banshees at fao schwarz... and sprinkled in all our trips to the art institute, the shedd, eating ice cream at the msi...  that taste of chicago year, when i knew someone who worked at every booth and saw squeeze for free.... we danced with mc hammer in that bar in new orleans... we studied with gwendolyn brooks at columbia...  we whispered about our first kisses, our first loves and first heartbreaks while listening to sly and the family stone, on the hood of your car at the lake...

thanks for coming out to meet dj and to witness our marriage in sf...  and thanks for joining me in welcoming my children into the world too...  

and here we are, just a few blocks from where i was born...  

to be honest, i've kinda been avoiding you, because i know that i will break into tears when i see you...  just like i am, right now, as i type this...  but i just wanted you to know, that i think about you ALL THE TIME and will miss you terribly (to list the things i will miss about you will take a millenia...  and i type and edit with glacier speed...) while in california...  

i will experience something new, awful, and/or funny and will turn to you and not find you there...  and no, a facebook post is a poor substitute for you....  because you are brilliant, and funny and loving and supportive and there is no one else like you.

so, please send me off with good, happy thoughts and positivity and love, i leave all of that and inifintely more with you too...  

i close with one request... somewhere out there is another woman.... and she may have a family.... she may even arrive in chicago, the same day i leave...  please welcome her/them.   please don't be shy, show them around,  and not just the landmarks or weiners circle....   ask them over for your block party and teach them how to play cornhole, catch fireflies, ride bikes under the vast canopies of trees, meet them out at a SOX game, dance, drink and eat pizza and hot dogs with them....  

'cause if i meet her at o'hare, i'm gonna say "i gotta guy", and i'll be referring to you... you are my treasure, i want to share that wealth...

i will see you later, chicago.

be careful, be good, be nice, 

g